Blissful Living "Blissfest"

Seriously, anything with that many "bliss"es in the name has got to be pretty good.

This is the store where I teach my classes when I get my act together enough to do it...which is sadly not very much lately.

I can't get my act together because I have my fingers in so many different projects and I have so many things I'm worrying about that my mind can't keep them straight. I know that's what happens to Moms all over the world, but seriously, I've got to get a grip! I'll start out to do one really important thing, then I'll notice another really important thing on the way, so I'll stop and start on that, and then someone will call, and then it will prompt me to finish another really important thing I started the day before, and then Lucy is stinky, and someone needs to be picked up somewhere, and someone else is in tears, and someone else is yelling for attention as I notice out the corner of my eye that someone else is doing something very good and needs to be praised...you get the idea.

So I end up running around in circles as my heart is racing to remember to all the to-dos, and all the while my mind is racing to figure out solutions to kids' emotional needs. Yes, I have lists. Yes, I have a calendar plum-full of stuff that needs to be done and phone numbers to call. I have goals and plans of how to slow down and "be still." But my plans are in vain. I can't keep up.

I forgot to drive the soccer carpool last week...yeah, eight girls sat home waiting for me to pick them up. And then my friend had to remind me where Dave was (golfing with his in-town Dad) when I was worried sick that something happened to him on his usual early morning run when he didn't turn up for family scriptures.

But, once again, I digress. Let me focus here. This is going to be one heck of a party this weekend. Click on these images below to see more of the small-print detail.One thing I know will attract a bunch of people is that Stephanie and Christian Nielsen will be there (Nie Nie Dialogues), and anyone who knows their story knows is automatically in awe of their strength and perseverance. They are such an inspiration.

There will also be tons of other vendors...check them out here or check the main Blissful Living blog here.

Anyway, just FYI...it's going to be quite a weekend!

Halloween 2009

Boy howdy.

I'm still wiping the sweat from my brow from all the Halloween hoopla last week.

I'm not going to lie, Halloween is no piece of cake...especially when you have four girls to doll up multiple times. And to be honest, I was pretty much so tired and overwhelmed with everything else going on in my life that I was wishing at one point Halloween would just mysteriously pass us by and we'd just forget to dress up.

I had it all pictured in my mind: It would be the day after Halloween and my kids would wake up and look their sleepy eyes up questioningly at me and say, "wait, what about Halloween? What about our costumes? What about all our candy?" And I'd crouch down by them and take their cute little faces in my hands and say, "Oh, I'm so sorry my sweet little dears, but we missed it this year! Don't worry though, Thanksgiving is right around the corner and we can dress up as Pilgrims and Indians! Won't that be fun? Let's make cookies today...they're way better than candy anyway." And just like that their cloudy, sleepy faces would brighten right up and they'd run out and play.

There'd be no black make-up to scrub off of faces and clothes and countertops, no candy wrappers strewn around the house, no temptation to steal all the Twix and KitKats from my kids' filled-to-the-brim-with-never-ending candy pillowcases, and no piles of costume accessories waiting in bedroom corners to be washed and put away...and no tummy-aches from sugar overload.

But there'd also be no memories. And that's just a sad, sad thought.

Really, I normally LOVE Halloween. It just took a little bit to remind me this year. I don't know why in the world things are still so crazy in my life. Last year I was wading through countless Christmas photoshoots and making home-made Halloween outfits with my kids, for crying out loud, wasn't I?

So, I pulled myself together and I must admit, we had a fun Halloween...even if we had to cram in the pumpkin carving right by the skin of our teeth once again. The Fall Festival at our kids' school finally got me back in the spirit again. I love seeing all the creative costumes people come up with. I love to see the absolute delight of those cute kids turning into something totally new.

These old pictures make me so nostalgic and make me fall in love with Halloween all over again:

1997:I have no idea where 1998 is, darn it!

1999:

2000:2001:

Grace was born...not sure where she was in this pic...

2002:

2003:
2004: (we started taking "all-the-kids-in-the-same-spot" pictures this year...)
2005:
2006:

2007:
2008:
2009: (this year our tradition of the "same-spot-pose-picture" failed. Lucy was too grumpy from her nap before we left for our party/trick-or-treating, and Max was out too late for Lu to stay up after all the craziness...so one picture has Max, one has Lu...eating a sucker)
But before Halloween night we had other parties. One of them was our ward celebration where they take family pics:

Claire was a bumble bee just for this night, Lu was in her glory as a black cat (complete with "Meows" every once in a while, and I, well, I was a Mom):

We carved our pumpkins on Halloween morning...along with a soccer game and Elle and I hosting our Mother/Daughter book club (this equals a crazy morning).But as always, it was worth it to cram it in...
Poor Lu. She sure had a tough time waking up from her nap.
...but we thanked our lucky stars that Dora happened to be a black cat this year on tv...I think that's the only reason why Lucy would even dress up. She loved this outfit (thanks Rebecca!) I think she liked how the black spandex accentuated her figure.And oh my word, she really "got" the Trick-or Treating" thing this year. It was so fun to watch her hold her cute little friend's hand and go around to collect candy. She really doesn't know what candy is at this point, so she was just in it for the fun.

We had our annual street potluck party complete with a portable haunted house. I love these neighbors so much!

Max's outfit (if you call a karate headband an outfit...) changed somehow to a gray-haired guy by the end of the night. Hmmm.

And Elle. Well, Elle hit the jackpot this year. Yep, she was the lucky recipient of a FIVE POUND candy bar. This guy in our neighborhood apparently works for Hershey's Chocolate Company and gives away one of these babies each year. All the neighbor kids talk about how excited they are to go to "Mr. Hershey"'s house all Halloween week. He gives out all kinds of lavish candy, but this is the mother of it all, and Elle got it. In case you can't tell, she's kinda excited about it.

unchartered territory

I just came across this picture Elle snapped of me and Lu last summer:

And it made so many things wash into my mind because this was exactly my vision of my future self when I was a little girl. (Well, to be honest, the baby I pictured me holding was a mite smaller than this one, but still...)

I've said this before, but all through my life I had stars in my eyes about being a Mother.

When I was little I didn't dream about being a school teacher or a corporate leader. I didn't want to be a famous actress or a pro at sports.

I wanted to be a Mother.

(My brother sent me this picture the other day...it's me with stars in my eyes
wishing that baby was mine.
I know you're jealous of the buck teeth...and the styling hairdo.)

I envisioned myself with babies. Lots and lots and lots of them. I'd always have one slung up on my hip. I'd always have a pacifier as a ring on my finger for times of trouble. I knew there'd be chaos (coming from a family of nine kids) but I was ready for it. I envisioned myself as with a triumphant look on my face as I held a baby close and had kids strung around me clinging to me with all the love they could muster.

I envisioned what color my kids' carseats would be. I'd try to figure out what I'd carry around in my diaper bag. I would dream about what I would teach them and what books I would read to them as I snuggled them close.

The interesting thing about all my grand visions was this:

They ended after the baby stage.

I never "saw" my future children past toddler-hood. My daydreaming never involved helping kids with homework that I couldn't figure out or having my heart ache because I was worried about their self-esteem or their falling grades. I never pictured them having different opinions or tastes from me or that there would be some things they would worry about that I couldn't magically fix. I never pictured sitting in the car all day driving endless carpools. I never pictured the drama or the joys of having older kids.

Now, much more quickly than I planned, all of my children go out the door to school each morning.

Sure, Lu still gives me a run for my money many days, but she's growing up. I'm in uncharted territory.

It's surreal.

Sometimes in the morning I stop and realize I am all alone in a quiet house. Even though I'm still running from one thing to the next and I cannot believe how fast the time goes, I don't have a baby screaming to be fed or spit-up to be spot cleaned off my shirt. I can pick up my purse and walk out the door without gathering an arsenal of snacks and props to keep kids happy on errands.

And do you want to know something? I think I like this. My "babies" have opinions. I get to listen in to their thoughts in carpools. They have senses of humor sprouting out that I adore. I get to watch them crouch down on the floor and nurture their younger siblings like nobody's business. I can discuss the world with them. We can talk about ideas. I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with their inner beauty that blossoms and blooms more and more every day. I love what they are becoming. I love that I get to be a part of it.

So, even though I will always want another newborn, and I will probably always sprout tears when I think about how my kids are growing up too fast, and even though I know that this stage:

...was (and still is) quite amazing...everything I ever daydreamed up and more, believe it or not I think I'm gonna like the next phase too...even more.

Because so far, though heart-wrenching and emotionally draining at times, it's more rewarding than I ever could have daydreamed up.

I know I'm in for some serious emotional turmoil as we raise these kids to teenager-hood...and sure, a lot of drama. But I can see a glimpse of what it's going to be. And I think I'm gonna like it.(...now if only I could get Max to be in more pictures...)

service

One of my new "good habits" I'm trying to make is reading something uplifting (scriptures and/or conference Ensigns) each morning before I get out the door. It is HARD. Everything that needs to be done swirls around me and vies for my attention, but if I sit for a minute and read, my days feel so much more fulfilled.

This morning I read this from President Hinckley (amidst a great article about service):

"He who lives only unto himself withers and dies, while he who forgets himself in the service of others grows and blossoms in this lift and in eternity."

I love that. I love that being a Mother makes it easier to remember to serve others...we pretty much have to serve in order to keep our families going. And we serve others around us together with our families to show the happiness service brings (always working on that one).

But reading this made me think once again that I'm so thankful for the service that I get to give to my family as the Mother. I think it's interesting how even though I'm trying to help them, reaching outside of myself really helps me grow the most.

Mexican Riviera

We went on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera with 23 people.

Dave's sister and brother and their families along with us. I wish we had a group picture, but alas, we don't. Here's Dave's brother and sister:
And some of our offspring (they have six kids each):
We had fun on the boat. I mean, four hot tubs and endless soft-serve ice cream cones equal nothing but pure glee for kids...and amongst us we had 17 of them.

And the best thing for me was that we happened to get to be on the one and only boat that had a group of 300 Romanians aboard. Now, I'll tell you a little about how awesome that is: I served my mission in Romania 17 years ago. Romanians are hard to come by here in the States, or so I thought. I think I've randomly run into four or five in all those years. I miss the language. I miss the people.

At first on the cruise I kept thinking I was imagining hearing all these Romanians around me. I always listen into foreign languages just to make sure it's not Romanian. It rarely is. Finally I really listened and realized, yes, indeed, that was Romanian...true Romanian! It was a church group who actually live here in the desert like an hour away from me. I was in Heaven trying to talk to them...but sad to realize how much I've forgotten.

Anyway, once again, I digress. But I do love Romanians. On to the cruise:

Cabo San Lucas was the first stop. We took a couple vans over to a beauty beach where everyone got drenched in the waves, as well as in the rain.
It was gorgeous, especially because of the rain. Something about the mingled colors of those dark clouds, deep blue/green water and golden sand together is just so beautiful to me.Those cousins are SO sweet with Lucy.

Next was Mazatlan.
We shopped for souvenirs.
Max got these sweet glasses that have been pretty much stuck to his face ever since.
Grace chose these ones. That's my girl.

The boys got buried in the sand and the waves.

Lu took a great beach nap.
We got some braiding done.

The other boys did some serious boogie boarding.


And the girls liked to jump.


I fell in love with Max's glasses because he was willing to let me take pictures of him since I convinced him it wasn't really to get a picture of him, but of the reflection in his glasses. Man, I got him duped. But that reflection is the nice little hotel pool we used to rinse off after the beach.


Lu loved her "class" on the boat since it was with Claire and a couple other cousins.

And this picture is to show how much the ice cream was beloved.

And last but not least was Puerto Vallarta
...where we rode the bus to the zipline. (Don't those guys in the front look delighted I'm taking their picture...again? I think they secretly wished I was in their families so I could record every minute of their lives...or did they just feel super, duper sorry for Dave and my kids because of all the pictures?? I'm thinking the later...)
And had the adventure of our lives zipping through the gorgeous green of the tropics up in the mountains.
I had to be really sneaky with my camera on these. They didn't want me to take one, but seriously, how can you go on a zipline adventure without a camera?? So these are a little blurry in trying to be incognito. When we were done with all thirteen runs (yeah, tons of them), we got to ride mules back up.
Meanwhile, the little kids had fun with their Mexican babysitter who was darling. Lu had a little nap on the hammock.
We honestly and truthfully fit all 23 of us in this van...multiple times. It was like we were in the circus with how many people we crammed in there.We enjoyed the evening at one last beach.
Lu fell in love with her cousin, Brimley, who took such great care of her.I thought it was so interesting how different the sand was at every beach. Super fine and muddy in one, rocky in another, and pure gold in another.And of course, the customary pool run-through to rinse off all the salt and sand...

Saying goodbye to our boat...through Max's glasses.
See us in there?
And a quick stop to visit our dear friends in L.A. on our way back home.

What a trip.

memories

I try to make memories tangible.

That’s why I take so many pictures.

I want to do something that will make the moments that make up my life stay with me longer. I want to hold on them because I know in a matter of seconds things will change. That same light won’t be shining through the trees in the same breathtakingly beautiful way…my children’s smiles will change. The expressions they make will mature. The secret inside jokes Dave and I share that make us smile across the table at each other or poke each other’s sides because we know exactly what each other is thinking will be forgotten.

Yes, other rich moments will take their places. And they may be just as good, or even better. But I hate that those things that bring me so much joy so quickly slip through my memory. I wish pictures could bottle up the smells and the feelings and the sounds of my life.

We spent last week here:

and here:

We are spoiled, I know, but Dave's brother-in-law found a deal we couldn't turn down, so we embraced it.

I want to remember the way my kids eyes sparkled when we told them where we were going. I want to remember how they simply couldn't sit still when we looked up the ship on the Internet before we left and showed them where we'd be "living" for the next seven days.

I want to remember how the Mexican hilltop town looked as we drove through it on our way to the zip line on one of our stops, the people living their lives walking through the villages as we rumbled up the mountains beside them. I want to remember all my children were there with me on that Mexican bus, and Dave’s smile as I glanced back to where he was sitting…cousins all around.

I want to remember Lucy wrapped around me like a koala bear on my lap giving me commentary of everything that is happening. “It’s dark, Mom” (when we’re going through a tunnel), “that’s a birdie, Mom.” “I’m happy, Mom.” I know, Lu, I’m happy too. Even though you’re slipping off my lap we are both so sweaty in the humid Mexican air. Even though we are going over bumps and potholes so big in dirt roads with no shocks on the bus and I can’t even imagine how this giant bus is making it up a mountain…creeping past sheer drops on one side into a rocky river below and narrowly missing construction and piles of rubble on the other side. This means we’re living. This means we’re on an adventure. And I love adventures with all my heart.

I want to remember watching Dave take Lucy into the ocean and help her overcome her fear of the waves, huge smiles on both faces. The feel of the gritty, golden sand under my feet. The way the waves sound as they crash on the beach. The way Grace’s face lights up when I come out to swim with her and lift her up over the rumble of the huge waves. I want to remember how Elle worries about the poor guy doing the entertainment for dinner because no one is repeating after him like he's asking in the commotion. Or how Grace looked up at me wide-eyed during a rendition of “Jesus Christ Superstar” in a tribute to Andrew Lloyd Weber’s music one night for the entertainment and asked what I thought Jesus would think about that.

I want to remember the exhilaration of having a minute to sneak off to the back deck and indulge in a good book (Rebecca) with no interruptions while the kids were tucked safely in their classes. The way we all looked at each other with sheepish smiles realizing there's nothing we can do but sit back and get drenched when the black clouds in Cabo San Lucas finally decided to open up and pour on us as we stood on the beach watching a sweet man weave bracelets with the kids' names on them for souvenirs. The way Max attached his sweet new mirror glasses he heckled a guy for and they became a permanent fixture on his face for the rest of the trip. The way all of our kids could slurp down multiple ice cream cones every day on the ship and the way the kids sat so politely at dinner, napkins on laps, discussing this or that with their cousins.

I loved how the wind whipped through my hair as I sped across the zipline, above the breathtaking beauty hundreds of feet below, and how if I looked off to the side I could see the bright blue of the ocean waving at me in the distance. And I loved watching the thrill of it all shining through my kids' faces as they came in for their landings.

Yes, it's true that pictures can't do justice to the rich memories, but at least they're worth a try. At least they trigger those feelings back, even partially, to remember what fun we had.

And when I get to it, I'll post a bunch...

conference inspiration

Dave has been out of town this week.

And for some reason when he's gone, I am totally compelled to stay up all night doing projects...especially since I'm trying to tie up loose ends on a couple house things. So the other night while I was up late doing some painting I turned on the Saturday Conference session I missed while we were at Elle's soccer game.

Oh my word I was so inspired I had to keep putting down my paintbrush and picking up my notepad to take notes. Every talk was so great, but man oh man, Elder Uchtdorf's was my favorite. I loved how he talked about love and how the way we love should be what defines us, as Mormons, as individuals, and as sons and daughters of God. My favorite quote was this:

"God doesn't need us to love Him. But oh, how WE need to love HIM. What we love determines what we seek. What we seek determines what we think and do. What we think and do determines who we are, and who we will become."

I join Elder Uchtdorf in hoping that people who are not part of our faith will learn from our actions that we are truly striving to be true Christians. That we believe with all our hearts in a loving Savior and that we are striving to love as our Savior loves.

I think you can listen to it here if you'd like to be seriously inspired today.

I adored Elder Bednar's talk too. I loved his three points of how to become "more diligent and concerned at home." Each of those points hit home to me so much as a Mother. If you want to listen I think you can click here.

I am so thankful for the opportunity we have to formally listen to our spiritual leaders twice a year at Conference time. I love the rejuvenation I feel from those words washing over me and helping me to become a more dedicated friend, daughter, mother, and wife.